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It’s the perfect blend for ICE agents wrapping gifts in chain-link garland or elves working overtime in off-site detention. Pair it with a sugar cookie or a warrant either way, it’ll leave your taste buds shackled with satisfaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSeriously… Our Premium Blend Coffee sources from four distinct regions: Brazilian beans from Cerrado's established farms, Colombian beans from Huila and Cauca's smallholder cooperatives, Guatemalan beans from Antigua and Huehuetenango's volcanic highlands, and Ethiopian beans from Guji's traditional farming communities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSo go ahead—sip with seasonal superiority. \u003cb\u003eBecause at Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Co., even the candy canes get processed.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Coarse \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44717634191497,"sku":"C-CANDY CANE-CO-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 12oz","offer_id":44730897072265,"sku":"C-CANDY CANE-CO-12OZ-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44730898546825,"sku":"C-CANDY CANE-WH-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/kraft_blank_final_latest_ee4507e6-e891-460d-929c-85bc73cd4633.jpg?v=1759278224"},{"product_id":"pumpkin-spice-1","title":"Trumpkin Spice  (Single Origin Pumpkin Spice Coffee)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis limited-run, Medium Roast screams fall, freedom, and deportation. 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Each order is then carefully flavored with high quality, all natural flavoring oils while still warm. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44717634420873,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-WH-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44730910605449,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-ST-12OZ-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44730915127433,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-ST-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/kraft_blank_final_latest_a56109e9-bd24-4e77-93c4-4a06d886fd28.jpg?v=1759278229"},{"product_id":"candy-cane","title":"Candy Cane","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eThis isn't your grandma’s peppermint mocha.\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eCandy Cane \u003c\/i\u003eis the holiday roast for those who think tinsel is tacky, carolers should be fingerprinted, and every peppermint stick should come with a deportation order. With each steaming cup, you’ll get a minty burst of freedom so fresh, it could be used in enhanced interrogation. The bold roast is layered with festive peppermint flavor, because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like border security and a fresh pair of zip ties.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eWhether you're detaining dreams or interrogating your in-laws, this brew brings seasonal sass with a peppermint punch that clears sinuses\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci\u003eand\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003emoral ambiguity. It’s the perfect blend for ICE agents wrapping gifts in chain-link garland or elves working overtime in off-site detention. Pair it with a sugar cookie or a warrant either way, it’ll leave your taste buds shackled with satisfaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSeriously… Our Premium Blend Coffee sources from four distinct regions: Brazilian beans from Cerrado's established farms, Colombian beans from Huila and Cauca's smallholder cooperatives, Guatemalan beans from Antigua and Huehuetenango's volcanic highlands, and Ethiopian beans from Guji's traditional farming communities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\"\u003eSo go ahead—sip with seasonal superiority.\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003eBecause at Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Co., even the candy canes get processed.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728095703177,"sku":"C-CANDY CANE-ST-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/kraft_blank_final_latest_578ed9fb-47d9-4bdf-861f-a4e9a514e6e6.jpg?v=1759435545"},{"product_id":"chocolate-hazelnut","title":"Chocolate Hazelnut Extraction  (Single Origin, Hazelnut Coffee Blend)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"78\" data-end=\"562\"\u003eThis isn't just a chocolate hazelnut coffee, it's a full-blown psychological profile in a mug. This is what happens when your taste buds get waterboarded by rich chocolate guilt and roasted hazelnut delusions of grandeur. Sourced from the darkest corners of the culinary asylum and roasted just long enough to keep it legally sane, this blend is beloved by agents processing “emotionally unstable frequent flyers” on the \u003cem data-start=\"541\" data-end=\"559\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eAlcatraz Express\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"884\"\u003ePerfect for mornings when you wake up wondering if you should build a border wall around your own fridge, Chocolate Hazelnut Extraction seduces with smooth cocoa notes and sucker-punches you with untraceable nutty paranoia. It’s sweet, it’s unhinged, and it may or may not have whispered conspiracy theories to you through the steam.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"886\" data-end=\"1186\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eServe black to question your life choices, or with cream to simulate a taxpayer-funded therapy session.\u003cbr data-start=\"989\" data-end=\"992\"\u003eWarning: Not recommended for detainees still undergoing flavor interrogation.\u003cbr data-start=\"1069\" data-end=\"1072\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1072\" data-end=\"1105\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eAlligator Alcatraz Coffee Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e — “We don’t decaffeinate. We detain.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeriously though.... All of our flavored coffees start as specialty grade single origin coffee roasted in small batches to a smooth medium. Each order is then carefully flavored with high quality flavoring oils while still warm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e*Natural Flavoring\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Coarse \/ 12oz","offer_id":44728557437065,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-CO-NA-12OZ","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728557469833,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-CO-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 2 LB","offer_id":44728557502601,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-CO-NA-2LB","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 5 LB","offer_id":44728557535369,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-CO-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 12 LB","offer_id":44728557568137,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-CO-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 12oz","offer_id":44728557600905,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ES-NA-12OZ","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728557633673,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ES-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 2 LB","offer_id":44728557666441,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ES-NA-2LB","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 5 LB","offer_id":44728557699209,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ES-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 12 LB","offer_id":44728557731977,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ES-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12oz","offer_id":44728557764745,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ST-NA-12OZ","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728557797513,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ST-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 2 LB","offer_id":44728557830281,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ST-NA-2LB","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 5 LB","offer_id":44728557863049,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ST-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12 LB","offer_id":44728557895817,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-ST-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":44728557928585,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-WH-NA-12OZ","price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728557961353,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-WH-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 2 LB","offer_id":44728557994121,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-WH-NA-2LB","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 LB","offer_id":44728558026889,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-WH-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 LB","offer_id":44728558059657,"sku":"TVARCHOCOLATE HAZELNUT-WH-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/label5_on_bag.jpg?v=1759458666"},{"product_id":"hazelnut","title":"Hazelnut","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003eNutty flavors blended seamlessly with Brazilian coffee to create a perfect hazelnut in your cup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003eAll of our flavored coffees start as specialty grade single origin coffee roasted in small batches to a smooth medium. Each order is then carefully flavored with high quality flavoring oils while still warm. \u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003e*Natural Flavoring\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Old Glory Grounds Coffee Company ","offers":[{"title":"Coarse \/ 12oz","offer_id":47151668887689,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-CO-NA-12OZ","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 1 LB","offer_id":47151668920457,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-CO-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 2 LB","offer_id":47151668953225,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-CO-NA-2LB","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 5 LB","offer_id":47151668985993,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-CO-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coarse \/ 12 LB","offer_id":47151669018761,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-CO-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 12oz","offer_id":47151669051529,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ES-NA-12OZ","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 1 LB","offer_id":47151669084297,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ES-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 2 LB","offer_id":47151669117065,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ES-NA-2LB","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 5 LB","offer_id":47151669149833,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ES-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Espresso \/ 12 LB","offer_id":47151669182601,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ES-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12oz","offer_id":47151669215369,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ST-NA-12OZ","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":47151669248137,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ST-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 2 LB","offer_id":47151669280905,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ST-NA-2LB","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 5 LB","offer_id":47151669313673,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ST-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12 LB","offer_id":47151669346441,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-ST-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12oz","offer_id":47151669379209,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-WH-NA-12OZ","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":47151669411977,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-WH-NA-1LB","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 2 LB","offer_id":47151669444745,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-WH-NA-2LB","price":40.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 5 LB","offer_id":47151669477513,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-WH-NA-5LB","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 12 LB","offer_id":47151669510281,"sku":"TVARHAZELNUT-WH-NA-12LB","price":169.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/label5_on_bag_4c50ef81-ed88-4de8-9d93-c80f4bc94641.jpg?v=1783097032"},{"product_id":"caramel","title":"Caramel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRoast\u003c\/strong\u003e: Medium\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003eThe all natural sweet buttery caramel flavor on this medium roasted coffee is fantastic alone or as the base for your blended drinks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n            \u003cp\u003eAll of our flavored coffees start as specialty grade single origin coffee roasted in small batches to a smooth medium. 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