{"title":"Featured Collection","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"228\" data-end=\"624\"\u003eStep into the heart of the swamp with our \u003cstrong data-start=\"270\" data-end=\"293\"\u003eFeatured Collection \u003c\/strong\u003eA handpicked roundup of our boldest brews, loudest mugs, and most unapologetically patriotic gear. Whether you're sipping on our politically charged coffee blends, toting a mug that makes liberals \u003cem data-start=\"491\" data-end=\"496\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e lattes uncomfortable, or sporting tees that turn heads faster than a government shutdown.  This is where the real action happens.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"626\" data-end=\"914\"\u003eEvery item in this collection is branded for impact.  Flavor-packed, freedom-fueled, and branded with the unmistakable bite of \u003cstrong data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"783\"\u003eAlligator Alcatraz Coffee Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e These aren’t just products, they're conversation starters, caffeinated statements, and wearable middle fingers to bland conformity.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"pumpkin-spice-1","title":"Trumpkin Spice  (Single Origin Pumpkin Spice Coffee)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis limited-run, Medium Roast screams fall, freedom, and deportation. Orange, aromatic, and as polarizing as a MAGA hat at Whole Foods. Designed to trigger liberals and energize border checkpoints. Best served during campaign season or whenever you feel like reclaiming your Constitutional right to pumpkin-flavored beverages.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeriously though, our Tumpkin Spice Coffee is flavored with hints of pumpkin, cinnamon and nutmeg combined with a deep medium roast arabica coffee. All of our flavored coffees start as specialty grade single origin coffee roasted in small batches to a smooth blend. Each order is then carefully flavored with high quality, all natural flavoring oils while still warm. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Whole Bean \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44717634420873,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-WH-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 12 oz","offer_id":44730910605449,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-ST-12OZ-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44730915127433,"sku":"C-PUMPKIN SPICE-ST-1LB-KR","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/kraft_blank_final_latest_a56109e9-bd24-4e77-93c4-4a06d886fd28.jpg?v=1759278229"},{"product_id":"democrat_shutdown","title":"Democrat Shutdown  (6 Bean Blend)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"250\" data-end=\"630\"\u003eIntroducing \u003cstrong data-start=\"262\" data-end=\"283\"\u003eDemocrat Shutdown\u003c\/strong\u003e, the medium-dark roast that \u003cstrong data-start=\"312\" data-end=\"353\"\u003epromises everything, delivers nothing\u003c\/strong\u003e, and then holds a press conference about how it’s your fault. Sourced from co-ops where every bean identifies as “non-binary, shade-grown, and unionized,” this guilt-infused blend features complex undertones of committee delays, passive-aggressive tweets, and ironic optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"632\" data-end=\"934\"\u003eEach sip tastes like \u003cstrong data-start=\"653\" data-end=\"676\"\u003ehope, heavily taxed\u003c\/strong\u003e with a lingering finish of unfunded social programs and the smug satisfaction of believing you’re the smartest person in the room... despite forgetting how to pass a budget. This roast will warm your soul while cooling your confidence in basic governance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"936\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003eCarefully roasted in a solar-powered co-working space approved by a 17-member panel on Environmental Bean Justice, \u003cstrong data-start=\"1051\" data-end=\"1072\"\u003eDemocrat Shutdown\u003c\/strong\u003e is best enjoyed while blaming tech billionaires on a smartphone made by them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1174\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1152\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003ePairs well with:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1175\" data-end=\"1293\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1175\" data-end=\"1214\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1177\" data-end=\"1214\"\u003eStudent debt you promised to cancel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1215\" data-end=\"1232\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1217\" data-end=\"1232\"\u003eNPR tote bags that have been canceled\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1235\" data-end=\"1293\"\u003eAnd blaming Republicans for the thing you didn’t do either\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1295\" data-end=\"1398\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1295\" data-end=\"1398\" data-is-last-node=\"\"\u003eDemocrat Shutdown – ideal for sipping through a government closure you said you’d never let happen.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Alligator Alcatraz Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Standard \/ 1 LB","offer_id":44728095735945,"sku":"C-FRENCH ROAST-ST-1LB-BL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0714\/3768\/0777\/files\/tcr_coffee_blank_final_latest_5b2ac460-9b05-4f9c-a49a-0ea734a3cfaf.jpg?v=1759435545"},{"product_id":"republican_shutdown","title":"Republican Shutdown  (6 Bean Blend)","description":"\u003cp data-end=\"583\" data-start=\"203\"\u003eSay hello to \u003cstrong data-end=\"239\" data-start=\"216\"\u003eRepublican Shutdown\u003c\/strong\u003e, the bold dark roast that promises \u003cstrong data-end=\"321\" data-start=\"275\"\u003emaximum flavor with minimum accountability\u003c\/strong\u003e. Crafted from specialty-grade Central American beans roasted just shy of scorched earth, this brew delivers the rich taste of \u003cstrong data-end=\"491\" data-start=\"448\"\u003esmug certainty, performative patriotism\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the subtle hint of “we’re doing this for the people” — whoever those people are today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"790\" data-start=\"585\"\u003eLike a filibuster in a blackout, this roast goes absolutely nowhere fast. It's \u003cstrong data-end=\"699\" data-start=\"664\"\u003ebig on volume, low on substance\u003c\/strong\u003e, and ideal for anyone who can’t define socialism but is pretty sure coffee is now “woke.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"1088\" data-start=\"792\"\u003eWith every sip, you'll taste the scorched remains of compromise, the bold bitterness of deadlocked budgets, and the smoky aroma of national parks shuttered just in time for your vacation. 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Designed for fans who believe the Constitution is more of a suggestion than a rule, this mug holds enough coffee to fuel your campaign speeches and conspiracy threads.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith that mirror-slick finish, it’s perfect for reflecting your smirk while you scroll Fox News or sign petitions demanding “rule rewriting.” Each sip demands big slogans, bold tweets, and maybe a filing with the Supreme Court. Spill it during a press conference? 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